I will miss you my love.

Quite honestly, I was against it at first.  I was angry and even refused to help fill out the application or be a part of the process ~ which I might add is a lengthy one.  At one point, I actually made him sign a contract that he would not even talk to me about it until after our big fall event because he was driving me so crazy with it.   I think in some ways I felt like he was abandoning me.  The life that we have.  The comfort of him being here every day.

The day that really turned the corner for those feelings for me was right after Hurricane Irma came through.  It was a devastating day that we had to watch a friend and trusted law enforcement officer laid to rest after a horrible car accident that took her life way too soon.  Thinking back, really any time he saw one of his former co-workers, you could see a bond.  A friendship that went deep.  A brotherhood.  That day was different though for me.   As we were surrounded by the family of law enforcement officers and first responders from all over that mourned and literally wept together over this lost life, I saw him in a different way.  He had been out of the profession for over 15 years, but it was like he was a long-lost family member that was back in his element in that moment.  Just without the uniform.

Remember the lengthy process I told you about?  Well fast forward about 6 months and on March 12^th, 2018, my husband Anthony will start the academy to be a Florida Highway Patrol Officer.  With just a short time left until he leaves the reality is sinking in.  He will be gone for 6 and a half months to Havana, Florida, which is about 5 hours away from our home.  He will be able to leave most weekends during that time so thankfully we will have that time together despite the drive.

This year we will celebrate 25 years of marriage.  We have been together for almost 27 years since I was 16 years old.  When you are together that long, and you have a change like this in your life, it begins to put things in perspective for you.  We have been through it all.  The stresses of family, careers, finances and just life in general.  There have been many highs and many lows and many in-betweens.  But there was always a glue.  I guess almost a gorilla glue.  One that kept our hearts bonded together through every moment of joy, sadness, anger, hurt and whatever else came our way.  It has not been a perfect and easy road but one that as we have traveled together, has now brought us to an amazing place of love, forgiveness, grace and peace.

They always say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  In our case, even before the absence, it seems like the anticipation and reality of him being gone has drawn us closer these last few months.  We live together, work together and do the majority of our life together.  When he leaves on Sunday to make the trip north, there will be a missing piece to the puzzle of my daily life.  A hole that is normally filled with my soul mate.

During this time, I will choose to cling what I am thankful for…

• Every year of our marriage. The good and the bad.  Each one has shaped us to be the couple and people that we are today.
• The two beautiful and amazing children that we have and are so incredibly proud of.
• Our home and life that we have built together.
• The business that we have built from the ground up as partners.
• The faith and endurance we have had in our lives to weather each and every storm. (Our gorilla glue) 🙂
• His desire to enter into a profession that will serve our state.
• Most of all, our faith in God, that he sent his son to die for us and his place in our lives.

I know that now it feels like an eternity but that the time will pass quickly, and he will be back before we know it.  There is a mixture of emotions and thoughts about what is to come and the challenges I will have because of all the things that he does in our daily lives.  I know that God has prepared us for this and will put the right people and things in place for me to fill that void.  (Like picking up sod in the field!)

I am looking forward to the weekends ahead.  We will take it one day at a time and while I know there will be challenges that lie ahead for the next 6 months, I am so incredibly proud of him and thankful for the man that he is today.  The love of my life.

I will miss you my love.  XO